Simply choose which of your friends you want the site to send you notifications about when there’s a change in their relationship status.
Then, if your Facebook friend changes their relationship status, the website will send you an email, so you’ll be right in there straight away. As well as swiping left you can use the app to specify whether you’re feeling Heavenly (“Let’s go for a cute Frappuccino and take selfies”) or Sinful (“Hey, I would like to have sex with you”).
Then you can go online afterwards and see how well you did against the rest of the world – who needs pillow talk anyway?
Do you spend most of your free time staring daggers at the “in a relationship” status on your one-true-love’s Facebook?
You can then send them voice messages and videos of yourself, which to be honest will probably be used for more sinful than heavenly reasons really.