Which brings me to another situation I encounter fairly often: affluent gay men who wonder if the guy they’re dating is just in it for the money.This sometimes takes the form of the “sugar daddy” thing, where the older, affluent gay man is the provider and the younger man is “kept.” But again, I have to say that in my work I find that my clients are looking for love – the real deal – not dough. They are both in their upper 40s and they both love guys in their 20s.Number 3: HIV status This is another instance where communication and honesty about what’s true for you is key. You’ll be surprised how open and willing to listen guys will be.
So when they communicated their assumption to me, that their 20-year-old date was just in it for their money, I replied: If you really feel that, and you’re putting yourself out there in that way [by dating someone markedly younger and less accomplished], and you’re actively inviting that into your life, than maybe that is the case. But you have to own it; you have to recognize that that’s the situation you’re creating.
And if the answer is No, he’s not in it for the money then you’ll know that too. It’s about honesty with yourself and communication with others.
Whether we’re into bears, jocks or geeks, sometimes our narrow search criteria holds us back.
Having fixed ideas of what you want – which usually boil down to looks and little else – could be standing in your way of meeting some great guys.
Sometimes we meet the wrong people, choose a bad venue or fall head over heels with someone who just wants to be friends.